When I sat down to write a blog post about mom guilt, I never expected the hardest part to be… finding a photo.

The other day, I sat down to write a blog post about mom guilt — something I talk about with nearly every mom I work with. I wanted to pair it with a meaningful photo on my website, something that really captured the emotional weight of what we go through as mothers. I typed “mom” into my website builder’s image search.

smiling mother holding baby-stock image used to show idealized motherhood

What popped up?

Smiling moms. Glowing moms. Moms holding giggling babies in sunny parks. Moms walking hand-in-hand with their kids, hair blowing in the breeze.

Not a single photo of a mom crying on the bathroom floor. Not one of the teary-eyed midnight feedings, or the moments of rage and self-doubt, or the quiet grief of missing who you used to be. I thought, okay, maybe Canva will have more realness for this blog post. Same thing. Perfect scenes. Bright, beautiful, curated joy.

It hit me: even in the places designed to help us tell stories — websites, social media tools — the story of motherhood is overwhelmingly one-sided.

And it’s not just frustrating. It’s harmful.

Why We Feel Like We’re Failing as Moms

This one-sided depiction of motherhood is everywhere. It’s in parenting magazines, on social media, in advertisements, and even in our baby shower gift guides. As a therapist who works with high-achieving moms struggling with mom guilt and perfectionism, I see the emotional impact of this narrative every day.

When we only see images of joy and ease, it reinforces the idea that struggling makes us less of a good mom.

So when you:

Cry from exhaustion
Feel frustrated or resentful
Miss your old life
Feel anxious and don’t know why

…you might assume something’s wrong with you — instead of recognizing that this is a common and valid part of motherhood.

I Was Never Told Postpartum Could be So Hard (or all of motherhood for that matter)

No one told me about the mental and emotional toll that postpartum can take. And because I didn’t see any version of motherhood that looked like mine — tired, anxious, exhausted— I internalized the struggle as a personal failure.

But now I know the truth:
It’s not my fault. It’s not your fault.

If you're a mom feeling overwhelmed, guilty, or not good enough — it’s not because you’re doing something wrong.
It’s because you’ve been shown a narrow, unrealistic image of what motherhood “should” look like.

Real Motherhood Is Messy, Complicated, and Worth Talking About

The pressure to be the “perfect mom” is everywhere — and it’s hurting us. These cultural expectations lead to isolation, burnout, and shame.

That’s why I talk so openly about maternal mental health in my therapy practice. Because healing starts when we start telling the truth — and stop comparing ourselves to photos that only show half the story.