Rediscovering You: Navigating Identity Beyond Parenthood
Parenting is a transformative journey that often involves entering a survival mode, especially during the early years. As your children grow and become more independent, you may find yourself emerging from the all-encompassing role of survival-driven parenthood. Now, faced with a little more freedom, it's the perfect moment to rediscover your identity and reconnect with activities that bring you joy. In this blog post, we'll explore practical steps to help you navigate this journey of self-discovery.
Reflect on Your Pre-Parenting Self: Begin by reflecting on your interests, hobbies, and passions from before parenthood. What activities brought you joy and fulfillment? Revisiting these aspects of your pre-parenting identity can provide valuable insights into what might resonate with you now.
Explore New Hobbies: While reconnecting with past interests is valuable, consider exploring new hobbies or activities that pique your curiosity. Make self-discovery a deliberate priority. Carve out time in your schedule (I know it's hard) to explore. Join a group or check out workshops going on in your area.
Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings: Maintain a journal to record your thoughts, feelings, and experiences during this period of self-discovery. Documenting your journey can provide clarity and serve as a valuable reference as you navigate the path to rediscovering your identity.
Connect with Like-Minded Individuals: This phase can be isolating. While on one hand, there's an increased availability of time and capacity to engage in activities, it often happens that the individuals you used to share those experiences with are not necessarily in sync with this new phase of life. Or maybe, they want to spend there limited time differently than you do. One thing you can do is seek out communities or groups that align with your interests. Connecting with like-minded individuals can offer support and inspiration.
Set Personal Goals: Establish personal goals that reflect your desire for self-discovery. Whether it's committing to a weekly/monthly creative pursuit, learning a new skill, or dedicating time to physical well-being, setting clear goals provides direction and motivation. Be flexible with your goals. Life happens and our goals go to shit some days. That's ok. You're trying. We all are, and that's good enough.
Reconnect with Your Partner: Share this journey with your partner. Discuss your individual aspirations, interests, and goals, and find ways to support each other in rediscovering your identities. Collaborative exploration can enhance your sense of connection and shared growth.
Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection: Finally, celebrate the progress you make along the way. Recognize that the journey of rediscovering your identity is ongoing, and perfection is not the goal. Small steps and moments of self-discovery contribute to a more authentic and fulfilling sense of self.
In my journey of rediscovering myself, I was genuinely surprised by how isolating it could be. When my youngest kiddo became more independent, this itch to dive back into activities outside of mom-life hit me. The tricky part was, as I stepped back into the world, I realized the luxury of unlimited time was gone. With only pockets of time, I was forced to sift through what truly filled up my cup. Gone were the days of saying “yes” to everything. Dinner plans? Pottery Class? Live music? Yes, yes, yes. Now, time was more limited, and I had to really consider what I loved to do. In my pre-parenting days, I had a thing for films. A good cry in the movie theater worked wonders on me. My friend and I, eager to find fellow movie enthusiasts, started a movie-goers group. So far, no one’s shown up, but hey, we’re giving it our best shot!
Rediscovering yourself post-parenting survival mode is not easy. These steps helped me. I hope they spark something for you!